The One Lesson I Wish I Learned Sooner as a Writer
Stealing back the joy of writing
You sit down to write, but something feels off. And I’m not talking about writer’s block (that’s a whole other beast we’ll discuss in a future article) because ideas still come to you, ideas that you like and know how to put into words. You still know in your heart and mind that you’re a writer with something important to say, and you do say it.
What might be gone is that thrill you used to feel whenever you sat down to write, that ability to lose track of time and the world that surrounds you because you’re too busy transporting the inner one onto the page. Now, you might catch yourself sighing before sitting down or stopping too often to have a peek at your social media. You might struggle with consistency or take way too long to churn out a simple blog, let alone your next fiction masterpiece. You still do it, but it’s no longer fun. It’s a chore, as confirmed by so much of the writing advice out there. Everyone seems to have cracked the code, from prolific, consistent authors like Stephen King and other famous luminaries whose quotes circle on the internet to fellow authors in Facebook groups who grace us with their pearls of wisdom on a daily basis, even though they’ve never published anything noteworthy. They all tell you to sit at that damn typewriter/computer/notebook and bleed! Treat it like a job, and do not get up until you put out 10.000 words! No vacations, no sick days, no excuses! Soldier on!
While there is something to be said about the value of discipline and hard work, which are indispensable for success in any endeavor, this mindset nearly killed my writing.
My Case
I started writing to be published very young. I was 17 when I became an op-ed writer for the most prestigious Montenegrin daily newspaper (it's since lost its luster and standing), and 24 when I became the first woman to ever publish a novel in my country. Since then, my writing path has been a bit of a playlist on shuffle: I wrote plays, screenplays, short stories, blogs, and op-eds, but I had a hard time coming up with a second and then a third novel. It was a dry spell that ate away at me, making me feel like I'd lost my drive for the one label that I loved to give myself: novelist. And it was a full-blown identity crisis. I couldn’t understand what was wrong with me. I knew that, in part, it was due to the complexity of my plots, which require a lot of back-and-forth until everything fits together and makes sense, and every thread is brought to a conclusion that feels to me like the only one possible.
But that was also a bit of an excuse. The problem was psychological, and fixing it needed an action-oriented approach that went beyond the “shut up and get to work” fix.
The “Aha Moment”
My search for answers led me to self-help courses and eventually to becoming a performance coach. While this is not the time or place to humor you with the insanity of how I ended up working with professional athletes, mainly males and football players—the European kind of football, the one played with actual feet, thank you very much—it was through my work with them that I realized where I went wrong. I did the very same thing they did: because writing had become my profession, I’d allowed what was once the non-human love of my life to become a job, an obligation in my mind, which was the sure way to lose the joy.
Re-finding the Spark
The key to reclaiming the joy of writing (or playing football or doing any other job you used to love) is to revert to when you were starting as a kid.
Step 1: Get that Time Machine Out of the Basement
Fill the shoes of your younger self for a moment and tell me in the comments:
Of all the paths you could have chosen and all the different ways to amuse yourself, to express yourself, to lose yourself (in the music, the moment, you own it, you better never let it go) — why did you opt for this one?
When you were a kid, and no one cared about your writing, what was it that made you choose it?
For me, it was what came naturally. It was easy. It made sense. It was a healthy and wonderful way to express my ideas, my emotions, my worldviews, to communicate them with others, and also to receive the praise I craved as a kid.
Step 2: Make a List
What are the most beautiful things you experience as a writer? What makes it all worthwhile in the end? Take a piece of paper and don’t stop until you fill the page.
Here are a few highlights from my list:
The love and connection I feel with my characters, especially the MC.
The fun of making characters unpredictable.
Coming up with plot twists that I know are going to shock readers.
The moments my characters say or do something I hadn’t planned for them or expected them to do.
The joy of knowing that I’ve improved my style and my craft and that what I’m creating is going to be of value.
The feeling when beta-readers start reading the finished piece and give me their feedback.
Working on the cover.
Holding my printed book in my hands for the first time.
Seeing one of them in bookstores when I travel around the Balkans.
The current feeling of being in pre-launch and people showing excitement that the book is coming out.
The unparalleled feeling when someone I don’t know posts about my books.
Step 3: Keep the List Where You Can See It
Pin the list somewhere close by. Hang it above your desk, save it as your wallpaper, or stick it in your notebook. Whenever writing starts to feel like a chore, read through it. Remind yourself of what brought you here in the first place.
Because the truth is, discipline matters. Hard work matters. But if you don’t hold on to the love, discipline alone might get you far, but it will also make you miserable.
Stealing Back the Joy of Writing
Losing the spark doesn’t mean you’re not a writer anymore. It just means you’ve let the pressure overshadow the joy. And that’s something you can change. I know because I did after failing many, many times.
Writing should challenge you, stretch you, even frustrate you at times. But at its core, it should also light you up. If it doesn’t, the answer isn’t to push harder. It’s to step back and remember why you started in the first place.
To Finish Off, Some Housekeeping
The New Name
My first 10 subscribers might have noticed that I changed the name of this Substack from The Fiction Writer’s Mindset to Narrative Mind. The reason is that I discovered another Substack titled The Fiction Writer’s Life. It was so similar that even I had to take a beat to remember that it wasn’t mine. And because that one has existed longer than mine, it certainly gets precedence.
The Gratitude
My article about using AI in writing is gaining some traction and comments. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! 🌻
The Book Launch
If you speak Montenegrin, Croatian, Bosnian, or Serbian, my new novel, Fathers Before Sons, is going to be in bookstores on March 15th. My publisher is still and always Nova knjiga.
The English version, which I plan to self-publish on IngramSpark and Amazon KDP in ebook and paperback formats, is currently in copyediting and cover design. The plan is to have it out before June.
Another really enlightening post, and it was interesting to hear about your backstory a bit and how you got started with writing. Congrats on the next book, and I'll have to wait for the English version, my Montenegrin is a bit rusty 😂
I haven't lost the joy of writing, even though my first book (non-fiction, published last summer) has been a somewhat frustrating experience. The trouble I need to overcome is avoiding all the endless distractions and just sitting down to write. I wrote my first novel last November (the first draft, it needs a lot of work) and am going to serialise it soon. I really enjoyed that process. But now I get so distracted and caught up in marketing, social media, how to make this into a living that it's hard to block all that out and just write. I know there are techniques and I need to be disciplined, but it's just challenging. I'm working at it :)